I went to Mom’s house for dinner tonight. My sister and father cooked dinner and I did all the dishes, being that it was Mother’s Day. It was great to spend a nice evening with my family. I played with my nephews a bit and gave them my famous piggy back rides and tucked them in and read them stories. They all were staying the night at Mom’s house, so they would drive home in the morning. After the boys went to sleep, we talked about Dee and the fact that she was going to move into her new place at the end of the week. My mom reminded me that I had promised to help move her stuff and get her settled in her new place. I was excited and nervous for her all at the same time. I have talked through it with my counselor and we have ironed through my issues about giving up control of my little sister to someone else. She has really helped me to see that this is truly the best thing for all. My sister has keyed in yes, about her new living arrangements, and of course we will all come visit her often. She will be right in Muncie so I will be able to check in on her a lot. I think this is what we all need. Neither my older sister Carolyn nor I could possibly take on caring for Dee right now. My mother is struggling to do all this by herself and her health is beginning to fail. My father if left to be the only one to care for Dee would either need to put her in a home, or hire a round the clock nurse for her. None of these are the best scenarios for Dee. To try and make hap hazard arrangements for her care in an emergency situation would just not make for a smooth transition. I am really trying to be up beat and positive about the whole thing. I assured my mother that she just needs to let me know when she needs my help and I will be here.
My older sister Carolyn looks really tired tonight. She does not seem to be feeling well, and I gave her an extra hug. I know that the emotional and physical stresses in her life are definitely taking their toll. I quietly suggest to her counseling, and this time instead of blowing me off like she has done many times in the past, she actually asks me for my counselor’s name, which in my mind means that she is softening to the idea that she might need someone outside the family to lean on. It might just be the oldest child syndrome or a personality flaw, but Carolyn believes that she must always be strong, or at least appear to be. I know that may be true in front of her boys, but I also know that she can’t hold in all of her feelings about everything that has happened to her forever. She needs someone to talk to, and if not me, then someone.